On the other hand...

On the other hand, there is the subte to go the theatre classes (www.elcamarindelasmusas.com/)..it's fast, luckily.
On the other hand, I see people everyday smiling, I wonder how much effort it takes them, if any. I think about how much effort it takes me sometimes.
And it's not because I broke up with Soph..


Attitude is everything, they keep on saying. This concept appears to come out of every sensible speech nowadays. How much it is important to acknowledge the things you have instead of focusing on the ones you don't have. But then it is assumed that we all react in the same way to similar situations.
I consider that having a stable mind is a gift which is never valued high enough. It's not like you can buy attitude off the shelf. Some people are born with it, some develop it as they grow up. I have none of this. Is patience the only thing I am left with?
How can someone possibly build up an attitude. How long does it take? A whole lifetime? If so, why do certain people seem to be born with it? Perseverance might be the key. I hope I can talk this through with my counsellor, I owe her 600 mangos, shit!


Enough with this crap, I've got plenty of work to do. Yesterday night I went to theatre classes and it was fine; I don't think I'm really learning much but I'm hooking up with the kids a bit; it takes time to loosen a bit myself and open up to creativity and feelings on the stage. Then we met at Maxi's after class for dinner and drinks, a sort of pre-lash for those who were going clubbing to Kika..we left the apartment at 2.30-ish and I got home at 3.30am after almost falling asleep on the pavement while waiting for the bus. Had I known about this, I might have gone but I was dressed like shit (as always).
As expected, the kids have known each other already for a while but huh that's normal, after all. I feel socially clumsy though; don't really feel at ease, even though they have similar ages to me, are quite open and everything. There is also a cute French girl who's barely 18, but she's been here for 5 years already..she looks very uninhibited.